Deanna Gold Dee Locks and The Three Bears: Pappa Blue Bear, Mamma Red Bear and Sonny Teddy Bear

Once upon a time there were three bears and a Deanna with Flowing Goldilocks. It was reported in the NY Times that The Bears came home one day to find that their little summer cottage on Woods Lane Ct was broken into and they were the victim of an apparent home invasion and robbery.

 People wanted to know exactly what happened that day when Blue Bear, Red Bear and Teddy Bear came home from Central Park. The story goes that it was late that evening when Blue, Red and Ted arrived home. Blue was a block away in the parking garage unpacking the Land Rover. Red and Ted had gone ahead.

Ted unlocked the front door and shouted out 

"Hey, Dad. Why is there mud all over the living room carpet?" 

“Say what, sonny?” Pappa Bear responded as he continued to unpack. 

Then Mamma Red said "Oh dear. He is right dear;.There is mud all over the place and, honey, come just take a look at this mess! My beautiful kitchen!! What a disaster! Honey take a look at this. There are broken dishes and glass all over the kitchen floor as well as the kitchen counters!"

 

Blue Bear took out his glasses and peered into the darkness towards the little summer cottage

"What are little Teddy and Red talking about?" Pappa Bear wandered to himself. 

"What are you two talking about; what's going on, honey?" Now with more concern in his voice.

 Blue listened to the commotion and hurried towards their cottage to investigate further. There were signs of forced entry. His eyes traced muddy foot prints throughout the living room, to the bed rooms, the kitchen and the pantry. The mud  tracked randomly throughout the whole place. Ted took pictures with his iPhone. Red tried to straighten and clean up a bit. It appears they were burglarized, Now more than ever Blue Bear became anxious and concerned about the safety of his family.

Pappa Bear is gripped with angst and fear of what or who and where the intruder or intruders might be. He reached under the back seat.

“Good it's still there”. 

He removed the safety. His grandma's WWII Vintage Assault AK-47 was loaded, good and ready.

He peered through the broken backdoor glass window and surveyed the scene of mayhem. Red was cleaning.. Her husband saw that look on his wife's face that he has seen before that only made him worry more. That sense of looming doom and dread. Mamma Red looked all over the kitchen, their bed room, living room. Nothing, no one, and nothing on the porch either. Ted noticed the growing look of concern on both his parent’s countenance. Red had a funny feeling the intruder or intruders could be close by, maybe still somewhere inside.

And look! The porridge bowls Mamma Red Bear had set out on the kitchen table to cool were disturbed.. Hers was partially empty, and her husband's was half eaten. Her Ted's was on the kitchen floor, broken but the bowl appeared to be licked clean, and then apparently deliberately smashed into countless shards.  Blue noticed there are rain soaked foot shaped puddles tracking from the flower garden to the backdoor. Blue can clearly see foot tracks meandering from kitchen, living room to pantry and back. He thought he might have heard some faint snoring. He motioned to his wife to look in the bedrooms again; under the covers as well as under the beds. Teddy did hear some strange noise in his bedroom! As he sneaked up to his bedroom door, he heard a


"CRASH!!"



Someone or something had jumped through the bedroom window, landed in the flower bed,

and got up and fled down Jorelemon Street.


 

Deanna Gold Dee Locks thought she was having a nightmare. She heard the growling and the pandemonium. She woke up when she heard the door creaking, and then she saw a huge hungry black bear licking his lips and looking around, She thought the bear was about to grab her and eat her up. But, luckily, she had the sense of purpose to jump out the bedroom window.

"And that is how I, Deanna Gold Dee Locks, was able to escape from that cave before being eaten alive by three hungry Black Grizzly Bears",   Deanna told The New

York Times reporter. 

The story,  

"Deanna Gold Dee Locks and The Bears Blue, Red and Ted" 

 is often times mistaken for the widely read fictional fable,

 "Goldilocks and The 3 Bears".

However, it’s a moot point that they couldn't be more different. For one thing the original story, if true, had no pending law suits, and the first is a true story that appeared in the news.

Pappa Blue Bear filed a High Crimes and Misdemeanor  Law Suit against
Gold Dee Locks  on behalf of  his spouse, Red Bear, Their son, Teddy Bear and himself for Home Invasion, Property Damage, Slander and Three Counts of Character Assassination. 

The case is still pending in two Circuit Courts and is also headed for the Supreme Courts




Pot Smoking Deanna Gold Dee Locks and The Three Angel Dusted Grizzly Bears 


. . . And recently there was another Gold Dee story that  was featured in The Globe. The story goes that . . .


After she jumped from Sonny's bedroom window, Dee slammed her butt hard in the flower bed.  She was also high as a kite  on some Mad Weed as well as Wild Mushrooms called Speed. . .


She looked up in time to see water-filled balloons  whizzing by. Hundreds of water-filled balloons slammed into thousands of mushrooms in the Mushroom Garden next to The Rose Garden. The Mushroom Garden, according to the pot crazed Gold Dee Locks, 


"EXPLODED, releasing billowing mushroom clouds of  BILLIONS of psychedelic butterflies that streamed from the Mushroom Beds".


Pappa Blue Bear turned on his flashlight. The flashlight beam shone in The Mushroom Gardens and Rose Beds, dimly.



But what Dee saw coming towards  her were millions of B-B pellets and buck shots spraying from Blues "flashlight". She bobbed and weaved and dodged most of the bullets.


She paused to catch her breath and took three quickie  MJ  puffs, blew smoke rings that transmogrified into Red Devils who offered her PCP and LSD.


She was all a buzz and was stopped by the Fuzz.

Said The Fed to The Buzzed Gold-Dee-Locks-Natti-Dread:


"No doubt, three strikes, and you're out!!"

 

After her all night orgy of Pot Smoking and Wild Mushroom eating with the three Angel-Dusted Grizzlyed Blue, Red and Ted, she went  home, and collapsed in her own bed.