BERTHA  QUIRKS-KIT

There are several:

"RAP!! RAP!! RAP!!"

on the triage window. It's Officer Florrez, Security Supervisor of St. Clovis's Medical Center and Nursing Home, 5000 North Main Street Jonkers, New Jersey 07110,  973-973-0973

"There are ten extremely angry patients outside looking for the Triage Nurse, Bertha Quirks".

"Oh no! Oh no! God help me! Help Me My Lord! Tell those bitchies, Ah Illustrious Brothers & Sisters of the fine City of Jonkers they have the wrong Bertha. Bertha Quirks is the triage RN at St. Johns ER. I am Bertha Kit. So, you see, you are quite mistaken. Tell My N!*@as . . .Ah much concerned Good Citizens of Jonkers to go to Hell-Sinky, St.Johns, instead"

"Yes, but why does your ID reads "BERTHA QUIRKS, RN?".

“I can explain that. Florrez, can you ask Chango to make me some Milo. I need some hot Milo for my nervous stomach?"

"Sure, Ms. Quirks. One lump or two?"

“I said my name is not Quirks It’s KIT, Bertha Kit, is that clear? And I only sustained one lump on my backside when I slipped on my crack-cocaine pipe, I mean, when I slipped on a Crack-Pipe in the sidewalk"

"I meant 'lumps of sugar', Ms. . . .is it 'Kit' or is your surname 'Quirks' as your badge says?", says Florrez as he clarified his statement.

"I swear as The Lord God is My Witness that my 
name is. . .

Bertha's iPhone ring tone sings 'Coming Home to Jesus Christ'

"Will you please excuse me, Officer Florrez, I have to take this call”, responded Bertha as she waits and watches for Officer Florrez to step outside the ambulance entrance.

"No Problem, Nurse Bertha Kit, RN", politely responded Officer Florrez as he steps outside the ER Ambulance Bay.
 

“Hello? Hello? Yes. OK, but can I call you back? Guess who that was on my iPhone?", asks Bertha.

"Ah . . . Pherona? Clynthia Soulobola, RN. . .?", Florrez tried to guess.

"No, you silly pudgy little man! That was Bertha"

"Bertha who? What does her badge say? I don't see her. I see you with an ID that reads Bertha Quirks,", Florrez asks, suspiciously. 

“I told you, foolish little man, that's not my name. By the way, are those ten patients still looking for me, I mean Nurse Bertha Quirks, RN, who is NOT me?"

"No. All ten jumped on a bus headed for St. Johns"

PA System bellows:

"WILL BERTHA QUIRKS-KIT, RN, PLEASE COME TO THE NURSE's STATION, STAT!"

"BINGO!!  I think Gina is paging me overhead. Hold the door. I'll be right back. BINGO!!!", says Bertha.

Bertha Quirks-Kit sings The Lord's praises as she heads for the Nurse's Station.