The Answer is No
ME: Any Techs available? Oh. Good. Here comes TechNo now! Hi there, TechNo! Why is TechNo ducking in Fast Track? TechNo! Over here! Why is TechNo running away? There you are! Are we playing "Hide-And-Go-Seek" again like yesterday? And why do you always hide in your locker?
ME: Can you take Mr. Graves for a Head CT, STAT?
TechNo: The answer is No.
No?
Yes. The answer is No.
No?
When was he last seen normal?
Less than 3 days ago.
You mean less than 3 hours ago?
I mean less than 3 days ago.
How old is he?
He celebrated his 102nd birthday 3 days ago.
Why is he looking so gray?
We didn't figure that one out yet.
Why is he so stiff?
Arthritis?
How about Rigor Mortis! The answer is No.
No?
Techno: Come on now, you well know he's been dead 3 days!
ME: TechNo.
TechNo: No . . . I mean: WHAT?
Asme-fette is asking a favor.
The answer is No.
No?
Is this Asme-fette -person an RN?
No?
When was he last seen normal?
Less than 3 days ago.
You mean less than 3 hours ago?
I mean less than 3 days ago.
How old is he?
He celebrated his 102nd birthday 3 days ago.
Why is he looking so gray?
We didn't figure that one out yet.
Why is he so stiff?
Arthritis?
How about Rigor Mortis! The answer is No.
No?
Techno: Come on now, you well know he's been dead 3 days!
ME: TechNo.
TechNo: No . . . I mean: WHAT?
Asme-fette is asking a favor.
The answer is No.
No?
Is this Asme-fette -person an RN?
Asme-fette just so happens to be.
Are the first 3 letters of her name
A-s-m?
As a matter of fact they are.
Is the 1st letter a big blue A?
This happens to be true.
Is the 2nd letter a small black s?
I cannot tell a lie.
Is the 3rd letter a small black m?
Is that good or bad?
Is the 3rd letter a little black m?
Yes, the third letter is m.
TechNo: Then it's not good.
ME: Why is that bad?
TechNo: Come on now. You well know I am allergic to Asme-fette -RN's whose first name begins with a big blue A or with 2nd letter a small black ass or 3rd letter a small black m or if the 1st 3 letters in the RN's 1st name are A-s-m, in that order.
ME: I think you mean "small black s"
Techno: Yes, that too.
Are the first 3 letters of her name
A-s-m?
As a matter of fact they are.
Is the 1st letter a big blue A?
This happens to be true.
Is the 2nd letter a small black s?
I cannot tell a lie.
Is the 3rd letter a small black m?
Is that good or bad?
Is the 3rd letter a little black m?
Yes, the third letter is m.
TechNo: Then it's not good.
ME: Why is that bad?
TechNo: Come on now. You well know I am allergic to Asme-fette -RN's whose first name begins with a big blue A or with 2nd letter a small black ass or 3rd letter a small black m or if the 1st 3 letters in the RN's 1st name are A-s-m, in that order.
ME: I think you mean "small black s"
Techno: Yes, that too.
ME: Techno.
.
Techno: No . . . I mean: WHAT?
ME: We need a French translator. TechNo, you speak French, no?
What month is it?
ME: We need a French translator. TechNo, you speak French, no?
What month is it?
Its November.
What time is it?
11pm.
TechNo: Yes. The answer is No. You well know I am forbidden to speak French on or after 11pm at night, religiously, especially in the month of November. But if you need a Swahili translator I am available 34 hours a day 465 days a year, as well as nights!
11pm.
TechNo: Yes. The answer is No. You well know I am forbidden to speak French on or after 11pm at night, religiously, especially in the month of November. But if you need a Swahili translator I am available 34 hours a day 465 days a year, as well as nights!
ME: TechNo, you are in B tonight. There is only one patient in B. He needs a Tech for a Check List and a 1:1 suicide watch. He was found hanging from a noose on a rope from the ceiling in his basement.
TechNo:
The answer is No.
No?
Yes. The answer is No. Is he back there in 5-point restraints?
Yes.
Is he back there tranquilized and sleeping?
Yes.
TechNo: So how do you suppose he is
going to commit suicide in 5- point restraints back there while tranquilized near dead?
ME: Good point. Okay. Can you do his Check List?
The answer is No.
No?
What day is it?
July 4th.
When did they put him back there in
5-point restraints and tranquilized in a coma, back there?
He's only been back there since April 1st.
He's only been back there since April 1st.
Yes. The answer is No because the first 100
Techs should have done the Check List.
ME: TechNo . . .
ME: TechNo . . .
TechNo: The answer is No.
No? But I didn't even ask for
the favor yet?
Yes. The answer is No because I don't do favors and I am on my
break
But you just had a 2nd break, and you are near the end of your 3rd break, and . . .
TechNo: The answer is No because I am about to take the break DoWrightly owes me. After that I am crediting half a break from both Filly& Merrily, and Kraven-Ann owes me one too. And I am about to go on my 4th break and soon after that my 5th break begins. So, please! Give me a break! And, yes. The answer is No.
